Singles: dare to go out by yourself
Last Update : November 25, 2015
You may feel like going out this evening, but you can’t persuade anyone to join you. Just because your friends are stay-at-homes, it doesn’t mean that you have to live by the same rules. If you want to go out, just take the plunge because “there are no strangers, just friends that you haven’t met yet”. We publish several articles offering tips for singles who want to meet people. If you need some motivation to go out by yourself, it is worth considering that the recipe for success is simple: a touch of boldness, a pinch of cheek, seasoned with a sprinkling of humour. You see, it’s not really hard at all to reach out to others.
Go out on your own and learn how to flirt
When you go out in a group or with a few mates you are in your comfort zone! So much so that there will be a tendency to remain a spectator and watch the ebb and flow of the evening from the sidelines rather than taking control of events.
Many singles have confided in us that they don’t find it difficult to go out by themselves when they are on holiday because their status of tourist legitimises this type of outing. Yet it’s just the same in your home town. Besides, do you know the best places to go?
From the moment you start going out on your own, your self-confidence will rise considerably; even if you find some experiences a little difficult to begin with, there will also be wonderful evenings and unforeseen meetings that will leave you with unforgettable memories.
What are the best ways to meet people?
Firstly, you must acquire a few social skills, easily accessible to everyone: some cool clothes, an air of self-confidence, a few (brief) conversational topics at your fingertips and some ready-prepared answers to the questions you are sure to be asked: “What do you do for a living?” or the pointed “Where are your friends?”
There is no point in hiding the fact that you are on your own, so be honest and take control of the situation. If you are worried about looking like a loser, rest assured that being out on your own will gain respect; it all depends on how you present it to others. It isn’t because none of your mates wanted to come out with you, (or because you just don’t have many friends), rather that you have freely chosen to be there by yourself. No, it’s not that your mates are all home birds but rather that you wanted to have a little fun and meet some nice people; anyway, it’s their loss for missing out on a pleasant evening, isn’t it?
The first step: dare to join in with a group
The ideal first step is to join a fairly large group of people and exchange a few words with them in a natural way: perhaps commenting on the music, dance steps, etc.
Some golden rules to remember that will keep knockbacks to a minimum:
- If you are ill at ease, remember those you are talking to will be as well.
- Don’t be too choosy and don’t judge by appearances.
- Don’t attach yourself to a group who are just watching, it will come across as a bit odd and intrusive.
- Let people see you are just there to socialise and have a good time rather than too obviously looking for a date.
- Good manners and respect are always in order.
Don’t forget that although alcohol lowers inhibitions and allows you to get in the party mood, no-one will welcome a drunk into their group. Having fun doesn’t equate with being intoxicated; allow yourself a few drinks for Dutch courage but know your limits and try not to exceed them.
Finally, the key to succeeding in meeting people when you are by yourself is to blend in with the environment and be where the action is. Are people dancing or singing? do the same! Is there a table football game in the bar? Suggest a match. If you are drinking alone at the bar, try sitting down at a table that is already occupied, in this case preferably with a single sex group. If you are a guy, head towards a table with just girls. Be polite, smiling and don’t give the impression of being desperate and you will find that most people will offer you a seat: the hardest part is over!